A poem about how social media impacts mental health


Mirrorland/ Will I ever be enough? by Funmi Lijadu



My bed

You’re just like the ocean.

Well, not really

Just overwhelming,

Forever awash

With tears overdue.


You creak and heave

At the weight of me


Things that were said.

But you’re so uncomplaining in your motions

Like the sun bowing down gracefully

Making way for the moon.


My altar of self-loathing

Soft, unforgiving,

Accommodating yet hostile

I know you can’t keep the thoughts from me

I writhe and writhe in these suffocating sheets

Till I’m weak and drift carelessly into sleep


I hate to pull myself from you

You’re my escape

A bitter truth.

Harsher truths find me

When I leave you

Embarking on journeys less comforting


(You’re the only one that stretches

To make space for me)


Mirrorland is never kind

Presenting myself to the one sided pane

Gazing wistfully at the luminous rectangular mirror

I hold in my palm for too long

Yes. scroll and see those fleeting visions

Flashing, dazzling, reflecting in your eyes

Do you know how my eyes water for you?


Focused on you in the unforgiving dark

I follow, I envy, I like, I like, I dislike, I unlike.

Yes! Today

you can buy this

and be happy?

Happy, until you see that post

Convinces you you’re not enough

(You’ll be back tomorrow!)


Wish we could all be hashtag ‘blessed’

Wonder how many ‘best lives’ truly exist

What horrors are hiding behind the screen?

Late-night-thinking of my next plot to make them jealous

A harmless little show

Something to remind them that I’m here.


(even though I’m drowning)

(should be sleeping but can’t)

Mirrorland oppresses me,

Reminding me of everthing

I don’t have

I need to be.

Everything I haven’t been

I keep going back


(like a moth to a flame, you never learn)




Wander lazily

 From the digital to the physical

To that lonely rectangular glass frame

On the wall

It waits for me

Day and night we do a pretty dance

I twist and turn from myself


It keeps still, all-knowing.

Who is she?

Catching myself in the light

Looking for what I want to see

Looking for something different


A half-truth

Never enough

Maybe if I look long enough

I’ll like what I see


Stare and stare

For what feels like a year


But nothing changes in mirrorland

It hides nothing

(But you already knew that)

I walk from my reflection

(Too much for me)


I drag my feeble frame

I climb and fall back into you.

(You’ll be back tomorrow)


The poem explores the fleeting solace offered by my bed from downturns in my mental health as well as the way in which social media affects me in terms of the overload of information as well as the unhealthy comparison it catalyses. ‘Mirrorland’ is a reference to Yrsa Daley Ward’s book the Terrible where she talks about how the mirror can be a place of oppression and fuel negative attitudes towards the body, and fear. So the title Mirrorland/Will I ever be enough? explores the bed and the mirror (smartphones and physical mirrors) and how these environments differ in terms of their impact on mental health.


Funmi Lijadu